Tag Archives: family

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5 tips for a better family vacation

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Memorial Day weekend is almost here, bringing the unofficial start of summer and the start of vacation season.

With two children ages eight and ten, my husband and I have experienced many family vacations, and, over the years, I have picked up some helpful tips to make these trips more enjoyable.

Pack Smart

Packing smart doesn’t mean skimping on what you need for a trip. It means being mindful of what you must have on a trip in order to make it as enjoyable experience as possible. For some families, electronics are a must to ensure a calm and peaceful journey, for others, disconnecting is important. Some families prefer to bring their own outdoor gear, others find it better to rent at their destination.

When packing you need to think about the benefits and disadvantages of each item you bring. Whether traveling by car, plane or train, you never have infinite space, so being mindful matters.

If you have more stuff than you can handle and you must have certain items on your trip, consider shipping to your hotel. Often this costs less than paying extra baggage fees (if traveling by air) and is easy enough to arrange. When my family went on a trip sponsored by my husband’s company, I knew I couldn’t pack all the diapers and other items I needed for my youngest, who was an infant at the time. I was able to coordinate the shipment of diapers and other products to the hotel and everything was there on arrival.

Get A Place With A Kitchen

Family travel can be costly, and the idea of spending more on an accommodation that includes a kitchen may seem foolish. Yes, in some cases, your initial trip investment will go up, but the savings on meals, not to mention avoiding the often disastrous experience of dining out with small children is well worth it. Furthermore, vacation rentals are often a better value than standard hotels, and deals can be found if you are flexible with your dates and/or willing to stay further from the main attractions of your destination.

Even though my kids are better at behaving at restaurants these days, I still prefer the having our own space for meals when we travel. I like that we can wake up when we want and not have to worry about finding a place for breakfast or waiting online at a mediocre breakfast buffet. I like that if we don’t have to think about reservations. And, I like that if we want to eat a meal out, we always have the option to do so.

We keep our meals very simple. (Think lots of pasta, cereal and sandwiches), and pack much of what we need ahead of time (if we are driving). At our destination, we will pick up milk and other perishables.

What about all-inclusives? My little experience with all-inclusives has been underwhelming. I appreciate the convenience, but most of the time the food is average at best, and you still run in to a lot of the same challenges you would if you had to rely on restaurants. However, if you must do an all-inclusive, bring some food storage bags and use them to take some extras of things like muffins and bananas to have on hand in case your child wakes up hungry before the buffet opens.

Have A Mix Of Planned And Unplanned Time

There are people who plan every moment of their vacations, and there are people who just want to see what happens. Neither approach is ideal when it comes to family travel. Too many planned activities is exhausting, however, if your family has must-dos on their list, most often you can’t just show up and expect to participate. Popular activities often require reservations ahead of time, often months in advance. Smart planning also takes advantage of things like museum and transit passes.

While it is tempting to fill every moment of your vacation days with something to do, always being on the go can be exhausting. Kids (and adults) need time to recharge, and often the best vacation memories can be made on those “lazy” days.

These laid-back days are also when you are most likely to get the true vibe of wherever you are visiting. Taking it slow allows your family to better experience the local culture, people and environment.

Don’t Make it Just About The Kids

A family vacation is just that, a FAMILY vacation. Everyone, including the adults should enjoy the trip. Of course, there will be activities that are more for the children, and it is OK if that is the main focus of the trip. Just be sure to include activities you enjoy, even if they aren’t what your kids might choose.

As a child I was dragged to many sites I had little interest in, and, yes, I complained. Now that I am an adult, I can appreciate how much I learned from being exposed to interesting and unusual places.

Aim to have at least one activity for each person in your family to enjoy. For you it might be a museum, for your partner, it might be a site of historic significance, for your kids, it might be a candy shop. This gives everyone a chance to experience something they truly enjoy, and opens up the rest of the family to things they may not have chosen to do on their own.

Say Yes More

Vacationing with children is hard enough without stressing over what they eat or getting them to bed. Let them have ice cream every night and stay up well past their normal bedtime. Or, if that much deviation from the routine would be too hard on your family, consider allowing for some small perks like an extra hour of device time or letting your kids purchase a small souvenir item.

Saying yes more opens you up to new possibilities as well. If your kids want to explore a place not on your list, or if you see a tempting roadside eatery, saying, “yes,” may lead to the highlight of your trip.

Traveling with children will never be 100% stress free, but with some careful planning and an open mind, family vacations can be a great experience for all.

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5 ways to put yourself first this Mother’s Day (and beyond)

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Mother’s Day is almost here, and, if you are like, many moms I know, I am going to bet you are too busy to think about how you might treat yourself that day. I am going to further assume most of the time you are thinking about your kids, your marriage, your endless to-do list, leaving little time to focus on yourself.

I am a mom of school-age kids, long past the fog and exhaustion of the early parenting years, yet even I find myself forgetting to take care of my self. Making a more conscious effort to focus on my needs not only improves my mental health, it makes me a better mom and wife. As the old adage goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Mother’s Day is a great time to make the decision to do more for yourself. They don’t have to be huge things. As you will see below, my suggestions do not require a great deal of time and can be incorporated into your routine with a few adjustments.

Find Time For Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a funny word. Aren’t our minds already full? Full of tasks to complete. Full of worries. Mindfulness isn’t about filling our minds; it is about allowing ourselves to be aware of the present. Mindfulness allows us time to pause, breathe and just be. While this can be done through meditation and simple breathing exercises, I find it helpful to have an activity that focuses my energy on a simple task.

For me, painting is one such activity, however, dealing with paints and cleanup can be a pain and detract from the whole point of finding time to relax and just be. This is why I love the Buddha Board. Made with a special canvas that enables you to paint beautiful designs with just a brush and water, the Buddha Board is perfect for when you need a few moments to let your mind go of all the things and just be. Even better, the designs disappear when the water dries up, leaving you with a blank canvas to use again. The disappearing art also serves as a reminder to not get too caught up in the stresses of life and to just let go.


Get Better Sleep

Notice I didn’t say “more” sleep. Parenting makes it hard to get nine hours of deep, uninterrupted sleep. Instead, we have to focus on getting the best rest we can. While we can’t control how much our babies will cry in the middle of the night, or whether our preschooler will wake up scared from a nightmare, we can set ourselves up for a good night’s rest.

One way to do so is getting in the right mindset for sleep. For me, this means (although I often fail to follow through), limiting the amount of screens, particularly my phone, I view before bed. At the very least, making sure I take a few moments to take some slow breaths and allow my body to relax. For some, simply telling yourself to relax is a non-starter, so using your favorite meditation app, a sound machine, or having your partner lead a guided meditation may be useful.

Use Products You Can Feel Good About

My skincare routine is minimal, and as you may guess from the name of this blog, I am hardly the person to give advice about personal hygiene. However, as I get older, I am finding new ways to better care for myself.

Using beauty products with healthy, natural ingredients makes my hair, skin, teeth feel better, and makes my mind feel better for choosing items that have less of an impact on the environment. While there is no denying these products can have a higher upfront cost than many of their conventional counterparts, over time the benefits prove worth the investment.

Spend Some Time Outdoors

Whenever I am feeling stressed, sluggish, overwhelmed, or just not myself, spending time outside always makes me feel better. I am lucky to live near a bunch of great hiking trails, and I am grateful for the solace I find in the woods. However, you don’t need drive hours out of your way to enjoy a soul-cleansing walk. Even a short walk around your neighborhood, or a trip to the park can be enough to lift your spirit.

No time to walk? I get it. If you can find five minutes, open your front door, or step outside onto your balcony/fire escape, and just take a few deep breaths. Just that quick experience can be enough to get you in a better place.

Read A Book Just For Fun

While there is nothing wrong with reading parenting books, or books that are part of your coursework or to obtain a specific skill. Reading for pure joy is a great way to treat yourself. No one type of book is best. I just finished The Golden Compass and followed it up with a book on economics. Reading a diverse variety of books keeps my mind sharp and reminds me I am more than just mom brain.

I am a huge fan of my local library, as it allows me to try new books before my shelves start piling up with too many titles.

Remember self care is unique to you and what works best for some might not work best for others. Just remember that you matter and you deserve to show yourself some love on Mother’s Day and every day.

Disclaimer: This post contains a paid link as well as links to sponsored posts. All views expressed are my own.

assorted color heart shaped candies

It’s OK if you don’t want to get your kids stuff for Valentine’s Day

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Every year on Valentine’s Day, my dad would buy my mom box of chocolates. My siblings and I were grateful for any our mother would share, knowing full well those were her chocolates.

After all, at least as we understood it, Valentine’s Day was a holiday for grown-ups, and more specifically, for grown-ups in a relationship.

We weren’t showered with candy and gifts, because the holiday wasn’t about us.

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20 Reasons why I am a terrible parent (according to the Internet)

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Being a parent today means having access to a wealth of information to guide you toward raising your kids in the best possible way. In the “old” days our parents and grandparents maybe had a handful of books and an occasional newspaper advice column to turn to for help. Most of the time, people with kids were just making it up as they go, and didn’t live under constant fear of shame and ridicule. Or, at the very least, any shame they felt was limited to a close circle of friends and family.

Now, we have a whole Internet full of ideas on how to raise kids, and, more often than not, a contradictory list of all the ways you’re doing parenting wrong. You would be right to think we shouldn’t let our worth be determined by randos online, but, what can I say, those keyboard warriors have a weird power about them.

As much as I share about my motherhood experience, I do hold back, because I know many of the things I do as a parent would be met with ridicule and shame. My style is a mishmash of attachment, tiger, free-range and anything else you may think of. My parenting often changes with my mood or based on what I feel my kids’ need. I consider outside input, then do what I feel is best for my family.

No matter how I hard I try, I still feel shamed by parenting “advice” online, whether it is coming from an expert or just a bunch of moms in a Facebook group. I acknowledge that as a writer who focuses on parenting, I also contribute to this mess. I hope anyone who reads my stuff takes it with a very large grain of salt.

I think we need to laugh at how varied and disconnected parenting advice can be, so I made I list of all the things I have done or am doing wrong as a parent.

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Does my fifth grader “need” a smartphone?

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My oldest will soon be 10 years old, and, with each year, he is becoming one of fewer and fewer kids his age with their own phone. He has known children with smartphones since he was in Kindergarten, and has expressed interest in one ever since.

Before he was nine, I wouldn’t even address the question of getting him a phone. I believe (and still do), he had no valid reason for having one, and trusted that he was always with a reliable individual (whether a teacher, relative or activity leader), who had access to a phone and my information should he ever be in trouble.

Still, I understand the desire to want to enable our kids to be able to reach us if/when they are in trouble or scared. My son is growing more independent, and if a phone could help ease some of my worries and allow him to do more on his own, it may not be a terrible solution.

This thought occurred to me last month, when my son wanted to march in our town’s Homecoming Parade with the Middle School. When I dropped him off, there was no clear adult in charge (though there were some present), and it was a loud chaotic mess of teens, floats and excitement.

I hesitated and asked my son if he wanted to stay. He said he did, and though I felt concerned about his welfare, I agreed, got back in my car and drove off to meet my husband and our seven-year-old with whom I’d be watching the parade.

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Simple tips to encourage plant-based eating in your home

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I began limiting animal-based foods from my diet when I was in college, mainly because I never loved the texture of most meat, and I was drawn to the idea that cutting back on such food could be beneficial to the environment. I went back and forth on what exactly I included in my diet, eventually settling in my comfort zone, which is as a technical pescatarian (though my fish intake is limited), who is currently limiting dairy.

For me, cutting back on meat is simple, as I enjoy many fruits, vegetables, nuts and other plant-based products. I am perfectly happy with a salad filled with colorful ingredients, and can put together a full meal entirely of sides at even the most meat-centric restaurant. My kids, however, do not share my love of veggies, and getting them to think of greens, whole grains, legumes and other plant-based foods as tasty parts of a healthy diet has been a futile effort. Like many parents, meat-eaters or not, I stress about whether my kids are eating enough nutritious foods (spoiler: mine probably are not).

Social media makes me believe every other family has kids who happily eat platefuls of raw spinach, while I am happy with mine eating a few pieces of lettuce at dinner. What I am learning, however, is no family is perfect, and that we need to take a deep breath and realize we are all probably doing much better than we realize. I was grateful for the opportunity to speak with Brooke Brimm, a mom, advocate and champion of plant-based eating. Brooke, who has been vegan for many years, believes adding plant-based foods shouldn’t be a negative or stressful experience. In our chat on Instagram, Brooke shares how eating more vegan foods is not about shaming meat or meat eaters, nor is it about projecting our own needs onto our family. She urges her followers to make food a positive experience and to embrace the myriad of ways many of us (our kids especially) enjoy eating.

Keep reading to see more great tips from Brooke.

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Moving? Here are 5 things to look for in a potential community library

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When my husband and I were considering areas for our growing family, we wanted to be sure we would settle in a place our kids could thrive and be fulfilled. Though this meant looking into a number of factors, such as schools and overall quality of life, I made a point to place one particular community element at the top of my list: the local library.

Whether the town or city we visited was large or small, I took stock of how regarded the library was in the community. I took special care to observe the children’s section, as I knew that would be where my family would spend most of our time, yet also made note of the overall condition and atmosphere of the building as a whole.

To me, a library that is active, clean, well-staffed and highly regarded reflects a community that is engaged, involved and invested in the happiness and well-being of its members. This does not mean the library needs to be huge or filled with all the latest technology. I am well aware of how underfunded libraries are, and how unfortunately many communities lack the resources to improve old buildings, pay staff and keep shelves stocked. If you are able, please consider donating to your local library and other programs that support libraries across the country.

When you are exploring potential neighborhoods, here are some things to look for in the local library.

A library that is active, clean, well-staffed and highly regarded reflects a community that is engaged, involved and invested in the happiness and well-being of its members. Click To Tweet Continue reading →
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My oldest is “moving up” to middle school, and I have all the feelings

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My oldest son entered kindergarten in September 2017, at the age of four. With a mid November birthday, he was one of the youngest students in the class.

Many around me questioned our family’s choice to put him in kindergarten — after all, the overwhelming trend was/is to let kids with late birthdays wait another year. I certainly wondered, at times, if we made the right call. Yet, in my heart, I knew he belonged there.

Sure enough, my oldest continued to thrive. His academic and social skills kept improving, and, by second grade, I couldn’t imagine him being in a grade below, even if some of those kids were in fact older than him.

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Learn all about being a surrogate from Dana of 39ish Life (VIDEO)

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Surrogacy, or the process of carrying a child in the womb for someone else, is a fascinating and special service many parents rely on to build their families. And, while there is a lot of content from the perspective of parents who have used surrogate(s) to grow their family, we don’t often hear from the surrogates themselves.

I am fortunate to be friends with Dana Kamp, a fellow boy mom and writer, and one-time surrogate. Dana spoke with me over Instagram about her experience serving as a surrogate, and shared the often emotional story of searching for a match, going through a surrogate pregnancy, and where that relationship with that family is today.

Throughout our conversation, Dana shared valuable information for both potential surrogates and those looking to use surrogacy, and dispelled a few myths about what the experience entails.

Read on to see some of the highlights of our interview and watch the full video below.

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Make the most of family travel with these 5 packing tips

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By Sandra Aris

Spring and summer travel is here, and parents are ready to get kids out of the house and on the road or in the air. But before kicking off their dream vacation, parents are left with the difficult task of packing for everyone in the family. And while it may be as simple as outfits and skincare for adults, packing for kids requires much more preparation, thought, and consideration.

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