Tag Archives: family

Towing the privacy line as parent blogger

I started my blog in 2013 out of a need to keep writing (my lifelong creative outlet) and to vent about my struggles as a new mother. While, I understood anything I put online wasn’t technically private, I did little to promote my work and gain an audience beyond my family and a few random followers. My writing was raw and more like what I would journal in a private notebook than something worthy of a larger audience. However, even from the beginning, I hesitated to reveal every personal detail.

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While, I want my blog to be a place where I can be candid about my experiences as a mother, I also need to be mindful of my family and how my writing impacts their lives. I am sure, I have already written plenty which could embarrass my children, which is why, I will never write anything which mentions their real names, or share photos of them with clear shots of their faces. I do understand that because I myself am not anonymous, there are ways for people to find out who they are, but I at least can make it more challenging. Continue reading

Bedrooms are for sleeping and for sex

BedroomsSex

Long before marriage and family was a possible thought in my brain, I watched an episode of a daytime talk show (I want to say it was Oprah), which would shape how I would eventually set up my home.

In this episode, a very famous decorator/designer (I want to say it was Nate Berkus), was the special guest, whose task was to revamp a couple’s home. I can’t recall what colors he painted their walls, or what artwork he picked for their living room or what curtains he hung on their windows. However, when it came to their bedroom, one thing the designer said planted itself in my brain:

“Bedrooms are for sleeping and for sex.” Continue reading

‘Mom Life: Perfection Pending’ is the book all moms need

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This post contains an affiliate link. I get a small commission based on purchases made from this website.

Motherhood is far from perfect. In fact, it is often downright difficult. Yet, despite the numerous resources available to new moms or moms-to-be, very few provide the raw, in-depth truth they seek. Maybe, it is because people are afraid of “scaring” moms. Well, women are pretty tough, and moms are about as strong as you can get. To borrow from “A Few Good Men,” not only can we handle the truth, we need it, badly.

Enter, Mom Life: Perfection Pending, the new book, from Absolute Publishing, authored by beloved blogger, writer and meme-extraordinaire, Meredith Ethington. Continue reading

If toddlers had Facebook groups

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I am a member of several Facebook groups for moms. They have become so common, that poking fun of them has become standard practice. For better or worse, they have a huge influence on parents, and can be quite helpful. I know lots of parents who say they could not survive without them.

What if our little ones had the same access to Facebook (and knew how to read, write and engage in snarky banter)? What would their posts look like?

I imagine they would look something like this.

Continue reading

If moms had Pinterest in the 1980s

Social media has changed the way we do things for our kids. Birthday parties, especially, have become a bit over the top, as we parents try to mimic those beautiful pictures we see on Pinterest.

It’s hard to remember a time when parties were simpler, and nobody was making 5000 Moana statues for a two-year-old’s birthday party. Not that I’m dogging on anyone who does that, because, seriously, that is impressive.

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Before the Internet, the only people you had to impress were the people at your party, and you probably only saw them once in awhile anyway, so you didn’t care too much about what they thought.

My mom was a bit ahead of her time, when it came to birthday parties. We always had them in our house, complete with homemade desserts, craft projects and entertainment provided by friends and family. Continue reading

Here I am, 35 and OK

During the early 2000s, “Sex and the City” was one of the hottest shows on television. I, a young college student, watched in awe as those 30-something-year-old women gallivanted about New York City, enjoying an endless slew of men, fashion and cosmopolitans. Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha seemed to have it all — great apartments, fabulous careers and access to the best clubs. Yet, no matter how wonderful their lives were, there was an undercurrent of emptiness following through the series.

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This feeling was exemplified by the episode featuring Carrie’s 35th birthday. In one of the saddest displays ever seen on television, we find Carrie, sitting alone at a huge table, wondering when her friends will arrive. Making matters worse, at a nearby table, an exuberant young lady is celebrating her own birthday, at which she exclaims, “Twenty-five! Fuck, I’m old!”

I turn 35 this week, and as a married woman with kids, my life is very different than the one portrayed by Sarah Jessica Parker on “Sex and the City.” Funny how when I watched the show in youth, I pictured my adult life involving lots of parties and a great career. Marriage and family were not top of mind. My life is very different than how I envisioned it at 19, and in many ways, I have what those women were striving for, a husband, a family – people with whom I can share my celebrations as well as sadness.

Continue reading

I let someone else plan my kid’s birthday party

I am a bit of a “type A” personality. I was involved with everything in high school, from the student newspaper to a Jewish youth group. I then went on to college, where I became president of my sorority. For much of my adolescent and early adult life, I was in charge of something, planning something, delegating something — always doing something.

I thrived on deadlines and responsibilities and was able to manage the stress that comes with them. I was also a lot younger, sleeping a lot longer and only had to worry about myself.

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Since becoming a parent, I have found my interest in doing all the things has waned. Managing my family has occupied so much space inside me that I often dread adding another responsibility. Some might call it lazy, or poor time management skills, and they might be right. But, I know what I can handle, and I don’t want to push myself over the edge. Continue reading

Parenting helped me embrace my inner “no”

A make-up free selfie of Jennifer Garner made the rounds, last month, showing the exhausted mom of three after her fifth-annual “yes day.”

When hearing about the actress’s yearly trend of indulging every whim, no matter how much it beat her down in the process, I wondered if I could ever commit to a full day of only saying yes to my kids.

Parenting helped me embrace my inner -no-

I already do my own version of this with my kids, in a way. During the week, for example, I limit things like junk food and screen time, but on the weekends or special occasions, I let the kids indulge a bit. It’s why you might see my kid eating nothing but cookies at a birthday party. He rarely eats them, so for him it is a splurge. Surprisingly, this method has taught him some self control. At a recent synagogue function, he ate a few cookies and declared he had enough.

I learned quickly as a parent that in order for those “yes” moments to work, I need to be able to say, “no,” too. Continue reading

It’s time to pop the bubble

When I was younger, before I had kids, my response to tragic events was to go numb, immerse myself in a protective bubble of denial and go about my life. I wasn’t callous or uncaring. In fact, these events affected me so deeply that the only way I could function was to find a way to bury my emotions until I was ready to dig them up again.

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But, bubbles tend to be weak. And, I have other feelings to shield aside from my own. I have two children, who, thus far, have no idea about mass shootings. I am facing the truth of this no longer being a mystery. My oldest will be practicing lock-down drills in his school this week. How much will he learn? I don’t know. But, he will have questions. Questions pricking holes through the bubble. Continue reading

5 reasons to never say, “Enjoy every moment” to a new parent

If you have young children, you have likely heard some iteration of the phrase, “Enjoy every moment,” repeatedly. They are the words uttered to you with a smile by the store cashier as she sees your toddler yanking at your hand. It is the comment on your Facebook post about finally getting the kids to bed.

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Being a new parent is tough, but not tough enough to ever be sad, angry or even just a tiny bit annoyed by the situation.

That is what you are telling a new parent when you say, “Enjoy every moment.”

Take the time to think about why this phrase is problematic. Continue reading