When I was pregnant with my first child, I decided I would keep working. My job as a writer/editor enabled me to work from home, and, while it didn’t pay a lot, it did provide decent insurance coverage for my family. My husband, then an independent contractor, also worked from home. Our ability to work where we wanted and flexible schedules, in theory, gave us the perfect scenario for keeping our jobs while raising our children.
Before my baby was born, I arranged, what I thought at the time, was a pretty sweet setup. I would work from home four days a week and come in to the office for one. I could be at home with my child and still work. On those days I had to be in the office, my husband could take care of the baby. What kick-ass parents we would be. Killing it in the workforce and as parents.
On March 8, thousands (millions?) of women will forego working in support of “A Day Without Women,” a protest organized by those behind the Women’s March on Washington.
The organizers are well-meaning, but what’s that they say about “good intentions?”
According to the organizers’ website, women can participate in one or all of the following ways:
Taking off from work (paid or unpaid)
Only shopping at small, women- and minority-owned businesses
With the exception of option three (unless red just really isn’t in your color wheel), if you are someone, like me, who is a full-time caregiver for your small children, “taking off” simply isn’t possible. Continue reading →
By now you are familiar with the story of the birth photographer who told a potential customer her cesarean delivery wasn’t a real birth. The photographer chastised the pregnant woman for “cutting corners” and choosing surgery over vaginal birth. The alleged text message exchange was first posted on the Sanctimommy Facebook page and has since been covered by Scary Mommy, Daily Mail, Glamour and more. Mom groups buzz with disdain for the photographer and disbelief over her insensitivity.
How could someone who works with pregnant women be so cruel?
I’d say ask the photographer, but, she doesn’t exist.
My family spends much of our day outside, mostly to keep our two boys from climbing off the walls. On those days when the weather is too gross to be outdoors, I often turn to engaging experiments and projects to pass the time.
You don’t need much to spark the little scientist in your kid: just some objects you have around the house and some curiosity does the trick.
Another year immersing myself in the world of parenting, both real and virtual, is drawing closer to an end. I thought about what I might want for the coming year, and my answers, I am sure, are similar to your own. I hope for continued health, happiness and prosperity for my family. I hope I keep finding the strength to handle the difficulties of motherhood and the sense to appreciate the beauty of the small details. I will strive to be the best parent I can be for my family, as I know you will as well. In order to do that, can we please agree that, we in this great community called parenthood, could use some resolutions?
Difficult, stubborn, strong-willed, a free spirit. All of these words describe my oldest son. He is only four, yet he often pushes me over the line between parent and child. I am not ashamed to admit I have lost my cool on occasion. I have found myself sucked into battle after battle. I resented him for not being a more easy-going child. On many days, I was just hoping to make it to bed time before becoming emotionally exhausted and physically aching.
If you have a child like mine, I am sure like me, you looked for ways to change his or her behavior. You read the blogs, sought guidance from your own parents and shared your struggles with your friends. All have good intentions. Phrases like “positive reinforcement” and “be stern, but fair,” are constantly buzzing in your ear. You try everything to get your kid to change, to just be a little easier. To be like your friends’ kids. Maybe you see a change, and maybe you don’t. Maybe when things don’t work, you question everything you have ever done as a parent.
I was that parent. I asked, “Why me?” When it seemed like I spent day after day trying to reason with my son. I turned my frustration out on him, and that just made things worse. It was a horrible cycle leaving everyone tired and unhappy. I thought, if only I had more help, if only my kid was easier, if only I had more peace and quiet.