Kids understand more than we think

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“Why do we have belly buttons?”

My six-year-old asked me, while staring down at his own naval during bathtime.

I explained to him that his belly button is the spot where his umbilical cord connected him to my placenta, which is how he got nutrients inside the womb. I told him how after babies are born, the umbilical cord is cut and what’s left is the belly button.

I went on to talk about how his younger brother’s umbilical cord might not have been cut properly, which is why he got sick when he was born.

We talked about how he had to go to the hospital, and my six-year-old commented on how lucky his brother was to have good doctors working on him, and I agreed.

My son followed up by asking me if doctors still had to help patients even if they didn’t have money. I explained how doctors have a sort of “code” which demands they care for anyone, no matter the circumstances. I told him that afterwards, the hospital or doctor’s office sends a bill saying what is owed to the patient or the patient’s family.

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We talked about how our family fortunate to have the means to pay for his brother’s procedures and NICU stay, and to be financially well enough to afford quality healthcare for our family.

I told my son that some families aren’t so fortunate, and many have to do things like sell their homes, or ask others for help because their medical bills are too expensive.

My son looked at me and asked with the innocence of a child, “Why can’t it just be free?”

I could have just said, “I wish, or, I don’t know,” but I believe our children deserve honest, thoughtful answers. Continue reading →

The five stages of embracing the awesomeness that is leggings

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My early days of motherhood were a blur of sleepless nights and unanswered days. I often wore the same raggedy clothes around my home with no concept of when they were last washed. With a baby who spit, pooped and peed all over me, my fashion was not top of mind.

Despite how little I cared about my wardrobe in the comfort of home, when I did manage to venture outdoors, I always put on “real” pants. And by pants, I do not mean leggings. It did not matter how exhausted I felt or how gross I looked, I made a statement which said, I will try and look like a put together human. It could be a plain t-shirt and jeans, but it was something. It was clothes.

Leggings were not something you wore out in public.

I resisted leggings for many years because I felt they were the one clothing item left to take me over the edge to utter hot mess. Sure, I wasn’t the picture of style before, but at least I took a little pride in myself.

I never thought I would be the mom who wears leggings 90% of her week.

I have changed.

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Six years into raising humans, I have come to embrace the stretchy goodness of leggings and have accepted them as a staple of my wardrobe. I realize nobody cares what I wear while shopping for milk and eggs, and I might as well be comfortable.

You may still swear off leggings, standing firm in your belief that leggings are not pants. I respect your conviction, but speaking from experience, you will have to face the inevitability that leggings will take over your life.

The path toward leggings acceptance is fraught with questions about your identity, emotional turmoil and wonder about life’s purpose. You will go through these stages until you emerge happy and ready to love leggings.

Continue reading →

Two dads are on a mission to “solve” childhood cancer

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I was maybe eleven or twelve years old, when I first knew of a parent to lose a child to cancer. A family in my community had a little girl who was very ill. I knew she had cancer, but not what kind. I understood she was suffering, and her parents were working hard to care for her.

That little girl passed away, and I remember seeing her father in the days, weeks, months and even years after; always amazed by how positive he always remained. At my age, I couldn’t comprehend the depth of child loss, the unique experience of caring for a child with cancer, or how grief manifests itself in many ways.

I wish I could say that little girl would be the last time I knew of a child lost to cancer, but year after year, a family I know — whether from my “real life” or online community — has to bear the unbearable and mourn the death of a child to this horrible disease.

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What inspires me most about so many of these families is how even in the face of unspeakable grief they find hope and the will to seek out ways to help others dealing with a child’s cancer diagnosis. As a parent, I can say, most of us would do almost anything for our children, and it is no surprise parents are often at the forefront of movements to better our world.

Parents like John London and Scott Kennedy, the co-founders of Solving Kids’ Cancer.

Inspired by their children Penelope (John’s daughter) and Hazen (Scott’s son), who even while dealing with their own illness, remained hopeful other kids wouldn’t have to suffer, John and Scott came together in 2007 to form a foundation dedicated to addressing the unique issues of childhood cancer. Continue reading →

That daily glass could be putting you at risk for breast cancer

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Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, nor am I a scientific expert. This website and its content are not meant to be a substitute for peer-reviewed journalism. My purpose in sharing this article is to raise awareness on the potential risks of alcohol consumption, and while I did my best to ensure the accuracy of the information presented, I am aware that these points can be debated. I welcome your feedback in the comments.

What if I told you that drinking one of these every day could increase your risk of breast cancer by 12 percent? I’m guessing you’d think twice about grabbing another glass. You might even stop drinking it altogether. 

What if I told you that drink was alcohol? Would you still be so keen on giving it up?

When we think of bad habits that cause cancer, we think of smoking, eating poorly or spending too much time in the tanning booth. We criticize those who indulge in a daily cheeseburger, but would never do the same for those who partake in a glass of red wine at the end of a long day. 

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To be clear, I know several women who have breast cancer, I am not applying that they or any other person who has this horrible illness is at fault because they drink alcohol. Several factors contribute to breast cancer risk, including genetics, stress and just plain bad luck.

This article isn’t meant to shame anyone, least of all people with cancer, I am sharing this with the intent to educate and raise questions about “drinking culture,” and what that means for women’s health. Continue reading →

Finding magic outside the “Magic Kingdom”

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Every few months or so, I mull over the idea of planning a family trip to Disney World. I go online, research the best hotels, compare vacation packages and express my interest in Disney to a chorus of responses from friends who are Disney vacation planners, or know people who are Disney vacation planners.

The process overwhelms me, as I am confronted with the reality of how difficult — and expensive — a Disney World trip can be for families, not to mention how hard visiting the Happiest Place On Earth is for anyone traveling outside a very narrow selection of dates.

So, I table my plans and think, maybe another time, all the while wondering if I am depriving my children of some magical experience they will only appreciate when they are young.

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It doesn’t help that my six-year-old has never been that into Disney or most other “fantasy.” I swear the kid was basically born an adult.

My younger son, however, loves princesses and make believe and all things magical.

He is four, which means soon, he too will have no interest in childhood fantasies.

I often worry I’m depriving him of the opportunity to have his dreams come true.

But, then I think about how magic can come from anywhere.

I am reminded simple joys can mean the world to a child.

On a family trip to Mystic, Conn., we decided to drive about 25 minutes away to watch the Connecticut Tigers, a minor-league affiliate of the Detroit Tigers. Continue reading →

All a baby needs is your love (and maybe diapers)

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My eyes widened as they caught sight of a beautiful crib, displayed with great care in the middle of the showroom floor.

I, pregnant mom-to-be, and my husband were deep in our shopping for the baby whose arrival was quickly approaching.

I spotted the crib and was enamored with its features:

A built in changing table!

Drawers!

It converts into a toddler bed!

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I was sold. The rational bargain shopper in me, would have insisted on a more simpler (i.e. less expensive option), but I thought, hey, this is an investment. This is something we will use in so many ways, and it will last many years. After all, a baby spends a lot of time sleeping, right?

Turns out, my firstborn spent little time in his crib, and I wound up purchasing a special bassinet which enabled me to safely co-sleep with my baby.

As for the changing table, well, I mostly found it to be a pain, and performed most of my diaper changing on our floor on top of a mat or spare towel.

The drawers did come in handy, and once in a while our child did use the toddler bed, so maybe the crib wasn’t a complete waste.

But could we have done without it?

Yes. Continue reading →

Dear parent about to send your baby off to Kindergarten

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I sometimes have trouble believing nearly two years has passed since I sent my oldest off to Kindergarten.

I remember doing my very best to hide my nerves to keep my son from picking up on my anxiety and becoming worried himself.

I had no idea what the year would bring, and my mind buzzed with questions.

Will he adapt to the school environment?

Will he get along with his classmates?

Will he like his teacher?

Will he behave?

Will he meet expectations?

With each school day attended, a little bit of my worry eased. Not just my son, but my husband and I, became more acclimated to school life.

We learned along with him.

We got through the struggles with him.

And, sure enough, our son finished Kindergarten and went on to have an excellent year in first grade.

Your kids will get there, too.

While on their journey, here’s some things which may help.

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Continue reading →

Foundation seeks to make college a reality for deserving youth

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My parents drove me up to my dorm, the family car stuffed with clothes, bedding and more to get me through the coming year. I was filled with excitement and a little bit of fear, as I was about to embark on my collegiate journey.

I had the typical freshmen concerns:

Will I like my roommate?

Will my classes be hard?

Will I have a good time?

One question, I never had to ask, however was:

Will I be able to afford my education.

I am privileged to have had my entire college education paid for by my parents. Not once in my four years as a student did I ever have to worry about where I would find money for books, room and board, or even food. I was fortunate. More fortunate than many of my peers.

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Knowing my financial situation was always stable, I was better able to focus on my studies and handle the other pressures of college life.

But, my family support wasn’t limited to money, I also had parents, who, were actively invested in ensuring myself and my two siblings made it through school and earned our degrees.

They knew getting through college is not a task easily accomplished without help. Continue reading →

Best ways to spend a long weekend in Mystic

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If you love history, quaint shops, museums or beaches, Mystic, Conn., is a great choice for families looking to spend a long weekend out of town.

Located about a two-to-three hour drive from most points originating in either the New York Metro area or the Boston Metro area, Mystic has long been a popular destination for families looking for a little bit of everything on their vacations.

Where To Stay

Because we booked our trip somewhat last minute, and it was over the July 4 holiday, our hotel choices were limited — a lesson learned for the future about how popular this town is during the summer. Also, we were looking for options best suited for families, which narrowed our options.

Fortunately, we were able to find a room for a reasonable price at Residence Inn by Marriott.

At first, I was disappointed we couldn’t find something at one of the quainter hotels in Mystic’s more historic areas, but once we checked in, I knew we made the right choice.

The Residence Inn is located right off the the I-95 exit and is just minutes from Mystic Seaport and Mystic Aquarium, making it super easy for families to get their desired tourist attractions. Access to an indoor pool was also a huge plus for my kids, when they needed to get some energy out before bedtime.

For our family of four, the room (which included a separate living space with kitchen and pull-out couch) was sufficient for our three-night stay, but was a bit cramped. I would opt for a bigger suite if we were to return.

What To Do

Of course, we weren’t in our rooms much, with all that Mystic has to offer.

Our first stop was Mystic Seaport, a sprawling, outdoor museum dedicated to preserving and educated the public on the area’s rich maritime history.

Visitors can explore an old whaling ship, learn how people lived in the 19th century and discover the science behind sailing and other maritime activities.

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For families with younger children, there’s a wonderful children’s museum on site, in which kids can pretend to be sailors, cook in an old-fashioned kitchen and learn how to tie sailor knots. Best of all, the museum is included with your Seaport admission.

Depending on when you visit, Mystic Seaport has many special events for your enjoyment. We were able to go on July 4 and watch the parade, but the highlight for me was learning to play croquet. Our family had so much fun learning the game we decided to buy croquet set of our own!

Continue reading →

What YouTube means for representation

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When he was about three years old, my now six-year-old son, discovered YouTube. Like many toddlers and preschoolers, my child would stare in awe as other children un-boxed and played with toys — many of which we had in our very own home, sitting un-played with on a shelf near by.

Maybe it was the comfort of hearing another child’s voice in the home, or the thrill of watching a kid get a new toy, but for whatever reason, my kid just ate this stuff up.

Above all, one YouTube kid kept making his way onto our screen.

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Ryan.

Ryan, the now eight-year-old star of the behemoth YouTube channel, Ryan ToysReview, began making videos with his parents in 2015, and has grown into what may be the biggest child star of my kids’ generation.

What Macaulay Culkin was to the 90s, Ryan is to this decade.

My older son has mostly moved on to watching gamers, but my four-year-old has found his own joy in watching Ryan’s channel.

And, I know that grinds a lot of gears.

Parents, including myself, often disgruntling watched our children stare fascinated at Ryan, all the while calculating in our heads all the money he and his family earn from every single video.

I thought of how this poor child was being exploited, for some sort of bastardization of entertainment. This wasn’t acting, this wasn’t a skill.

Any parent with a cellphone camera could do this.

But, one moment changed my view on Ryan and his YouTube fame. Continue reading →