Maybe I'll Shower Today

Category: Smile

  • I was neat-shamed by Caillou

    The other day I was watching the spawn from hell delightful Caillou with my son. The topic of this particular episode was the importance of cleaning up after yourself. Caillou and his preschool pals were allowed to skip picking up their classroom for a few days and saw how quickly…

  • An apology letter to my son’s toys

    The other day, as I was watching my two-year-old beat his plush cookie monster with an elephant figurine, my first thought was: is this the same sweet, caring boy who was just giving me hugs and kisses minutes earlier? My second thought was: I feel really bad for cookie monster.

  • If fairy tales were written by toddlers

    The stories of “Snow White,” “Sleeping Beauty” and other great fairy tales were a huge part of my childhood. However, now that I know most were never intended for children, I hesitate to tell them to my own kid. Seriously, have you read the real version of “Cinderella” or “The…

  • Five toddler – inspired spa treatments

    Who needs an expensive day at the spa when you have a perfectly good toddler?

  • The search for the mythical sleeper

    I think every new mom has heard the story of the magical baby who slept through the night from practically out of the womb. Like the unicorn or leprechaun, this mythical creature sleeps peacefully through the night with nary a peep until morning.

  • My nursery has no theme (and other mommy fails)

    I took the Lamaze classes, read “What to Expect” and knew every freaking fruit my developing fetus was becoming. But, apparently, I missed the memo on what new moms are supposed to do, and it is time to come clean.

  • The out-of-your-mind ones

    A friend once joked to my husband that his daughter was going through the “terrible twos,” despite being just a little older than one year. At the time, we both laughed and chalked it up to new fatherhood. Surely, those ear-piercing, drive-you-insane tantrums will not appear until a child is…

  • Seriously, Cardboard Box Office, thanks for upping the “cool parent” ante

    By now, I’m sure you have seen the link for Cardboard Box Office circulating your Facebook feed. This latest in “look how awesome we are” parenting sites depicts popular films using, you guessed it, cardboard boxes as props and stars the couple’s baby boy.

  • A year of parenting in Miley Cyrus songs.

    My first year of parenthood has come to a bittersweet end. And so, I present to you, dear reader, a short summary of all of its triumphs and pitfalls with the help of a great artist of our time, Miley Cyrus. Twerk on.

  • Drinks to diapers (a poem)

    Remember when being up at four meant shaking your thing on the dance floor? And the only bottles in your sight were filled with vodka, gin and Bud Light? You knew all the words to every hit song. Now it’s mostly kiddie sing-a-longs. Dining out came with no fear of…