The stories of “Snow White,” “Sleeping Beauty” and other great fairy tales were a huge part of my childhood. However, now that I know most were never intended for children, I hesitate to tell them to my own kid. Seriously, have you read the real version of “Cinderella” or “The Little Mermaid?” Yikes! Even the cleaned up Disney versions are a bit grown up for my son. I thought it was time for some toddler – friendly tales.

Luckily, the life of a toddler is just as adventurous, if not more so, than anything you can find in one of those boring old stories. Sure, Little Red Riding Hood almost got eaten by a wolf, but you haven’t felt suspense until you have had to be around a toddler who gets mad for no reason.

Read on to see my updated versions of some classic stories.

1. “Goldie Locks and the Three Chairs”: The story of a child’s quest to find the perfect seat for breakfast.

2. “Little (I’m not going to wear that) Red Riding Hood”: The story of a child’s triumph over clothes.

3. “Alice in Potty Land”: The story of a child’s wonderment with bodily functions.

4. “Not Sleeping Beauty”: The story of a child who falls victim to a powerful stay awake curse.

5. “Snow White and the Seven Stuffed Animals She Can’t Live Without”: The story of a child who must have her favorite toys with her at all times.

6. “The Boy Who Cried Over Everything”: The story of a child who is just a bit over dramatic.

7. “The Little Tub Mermaid”: The story of a child torn between staying dirty or playing in the bath.

8. “Babyrella”: The story of a child who is wide awake and ready to party at midnight.

9. “Beauty and the Feast of Cereal”: The story of a child wanting only Cheerios for every meal.

10. “Hansel and Gretl”: The story of two children who eat a house made of sweets. Oh wait, that’s pretty much what a toddler would write. Except for the whole witch wanting to eat them thing.

So, the next time your little ones ask you dust off that old book of stories, tell them one of these tales instead. They are more relevant and less nightmare-inducing.