If moms invented slang

I am a mom in my thirties, meaning I have zero authority over what is acceptable slang.  I will even admit to having Googled a few words, so I could stop wondering who this damn Felicia woman was, and why everyone was saying goodbye to her. I realize that consulting Urban Dictionary to keep up with what’s cool is decidedly not on fleek, and I obviously have no business using these words in their correct form.

I do, however have some authority on parent lingo. I can speak toddler-ese with the best of them and can tell the difference between a baby saying, “Ma! Ma!”and “Ma? Ma?” Since, moms have given so much to the world already, I think we deserve the right to decide what the latest slang means.

  1. On Fleek

Real version: When something you are doing/wearing is on point. I.E. This outfit is on fleek.

Mom version:  Something you bought on sale at the weekly flea market. I.E. I got this outfit on fleek for only $10!

summer-darling-thatsdarling

Dress and pinwheel both on fleek!

  1. Netflix and chill

Real version: Have sex. (May or may not involve actual Netflix watching)

Mom version: Binge watch “House of Cards” and pass out at 8:30 p.m.

woman-girl-remote-watching

Settling in for a night with Frank Underwood

 

3. Bae

Real version: An acronym for before anything else, a term of endearment.

Mom version: A shorter word for bagel. I.E. I could really go for a bae and a schmear.

bae

  1. Squad

Real version: Your core group of friends.

Mom version: The kids. I.E. Sorry we’re late, took forever to get the squad ready.

Bonus: Squad Goals: Getting the kids to do something successfully. I.E. Brothers aren’t fighting! #SquadGoals!

 

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  1. Stay woke:

Real version: Being aware and mindful of important social issues.

Mom Version: Trying to function on almost no sleep. I.E. The baby kept me up all night, I’m just trying to stay woke.

wpid-0410131551.jpg

Stay woke like a boss!

I’m sure by the time this is published, most or all of these terms will already be obsolete. I look forward to momifying the next batch.

Until then, bye, Felicia! (By that I mean, goodbye to anyone named Felicia. Hope you have a lovely day!)

7 thoughts on “If moms invented slang

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