War, disease, deathly mythical creatures. It’s hard to imagine anything scarier than the world of “Game of Thrones.” Oh, wait, there’s high school. Surviving the teen years is hellish enough; now imagine what that might be like if Westeros, instead of being A Middle-Ages-inspired fantasy world, was your typical high school.
Would our beloved battle-tested heroes survive the conniving halls of adolescents? Who would be class president? Or class clown?
Student Body President: Cersei Lannister
OK, so she only assumed the role after a mysterious food poisoning epidemic plagued the rest of the council, but she does know how to get shit done. Sure, it’s because you are terrified of her, but, hey, that’s high school.
Captain of the football/basketball team: Jaime Lannister
Jaime is the most popular guy in school. He is great at every sport he plays, and always gets a pass for bad behavior, or grades. He’s most likely to win the title of homecoming king, alongside Cersei, which would be weird, because they are siblings, but this is Westeros.
Weird Artsy Hippie Chick: Daenerys Targaryen
Think, Rachel Leigh Cook, in “She’s All That,” or like Winona Ryder in pretty much anything. Dany is that girl in high school who spends most of her time in the art studio, creating sculptures from beach trash. She can also be spotted leading sit-ins and walk-outs to protest the school’s injustices. Oh, and she has dragons, so don’t fuck with her.
Hot Loner: Jon Snow
What it is it about those brooding loners? Jon Snow is that guy every girl in school wants to date, but he keeps brushing them all away. You don’t care if he’s hiding a dark secret; it just makes you want him even more.
Not-So-Innocent Nerdy Girl: Sansa Stark
Sansa is the type of girl who seems completely naive, but then you witness her chug a beer in under 30 seconds, and you realize there’s more to her than you thought. She is the one who should really be head of the student council. Instead, she settles for class secretary and valedictorian.
Class Clown: Tyrion Lannister
We all know high school can suck big time. Luckily, at Westeros High, there’s Tyrion Lannister. Nobody is safe from his cutting remarks, and his thick skin bounces off all inferior insults. His jokes and quips are so on point, the teachers don’t care how much he disrupts their classes.
Minus the dragons, white walkers and rampant warfare, Game of Thrones is just like high school. Am I right?