I absolutely adore “Empire Records,” and I wouldn’t be a true fan of the movie about misfit teens learning life lessons while fighting a corporate conglomerate without acknowledging Rex Manning Day (April 8).
In honor of this special day, I present to you 10 Empire Records quotes that remind me of parenting.
1. When your child falls asleep on you:
Is it O.K. if I leave the couch? ‘Cause I’m gonna leave the couch now, okay? My ass is falling asleep, so I gotta go.
2. When your kid draws you a “cat:”
I don’t feel that I need to explain my art to you.
3. When you’re deciding on baby names:
I was thinking about, um, Marc. How does that sound?
Is that with a “C” or a “K?”
4. When you realize parenting isn’t what you expected:
Why do I get the feeling that I’m being royally screwed?
5. When your kid goes on a tangent about trains:
Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear.
6. When your kid is misbehaving:
Well “Sinead O’Rebellion.” Shock me shock me shock me with that deviant behavior.
7. When the kids refuse to go to bed:
In the immortal words of The Doors, ‘The time to hesitate is through.
8. When you have to cook for picky eaters:
They’re my special recipe… and you know what that means… Lots of sugar.
9. When you long for your pre-child days:
I do not regret the things I have done, but those I did not do.
10. But, you realize what adventures lie ahead:
In this life there are nothing but possibilities.
Bonus:
When you are totally nailing this whole parenting thing:
What? No applause?
Je t’adore mon amour.
Maybe I'll Shower Today 
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