5 reasons why my son is already a teen


I'm totally old enough to drive.

I still have a long time to go until my son enters the teen years, and I know parents of actual teenagers rightly roll their eyes at us newbies and think, “just you wait.” Though my boy may only be two, he has already given me a preview into adolescence.

1. He has an insatiable appetite. I have heard that the male teenager’s stomache is an endless abyss, and no amount of food is ever enough to fill the pit of hunger. My son is no different. He can easily polish off a bowl of cereal, toast with almond butter and three scrambled eggs all before lunch. If I need to clean out the fridge, he’s my guy.

2. He likes to be alone in his room with the door shut. Granted, he does this less often than your typical teen, but as with his older counterparts, sometimes I’d rather not know what’s going on in there.

3. He likes to fight. As a female, it’s hard to understand why boys like fighting so much. And it’s not just when they are angry at one another. Guys like to fight just for the hell of it. Must be all of that testosterone. I guess my kid got an extra dose of that hormone, because he loves aggressive play. I just need to remind him that not every child wants to join the playground fight club.

4. He sneaks out of his room when he should be sleeping. I once woke up to find my son in our kitchen eating cereal. Here’s hoping that’s the worst thing he sneaks out to do.

5. He often wants nothing to do with his parents. Lately, my clingy son has started to assert his independence. When he is trying to do something like put on his clothes or finish a puzzle he wants nothing to do with me. I just try not to feel insulted.

I’m sure the teen years will bring lots of new challenges. I look forward to facing them … eventually.

4 thoughts on “5 reasons why my son is already a teen

  1. mrsmuffintop

    The appetite is crazy, right?! My son is 6 now, and I swear he eats more than my husband! It’s funny to watch sometimes, since he’s so thin. They burn through so much energy. I am secretly and openly dreading the teen years.

    1. ghoffer

      I feel like I live at the supermarket. Because we live in an apartment in Brooklyn, we can’t buy in bulk, so I am constantly buying food. It’s ridiculous how much we spend!


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