Tag Archives: moms

If moms were on “The Circle”

A little late to the party, I know, but I’m finally watching “The Circle” on Netflix, and I am hooked.

For the unfamiliar, “The Circle” is reality competition, which pits together a bunch of millenials in an attempt to see who’s the savviest social-media master. Contestants live in a giant apartment complex with no access to the other players, save for communication via a portal known as the “circle.” Each contestant can play as any persona they wish, whether themselves or someone completely fictional, and share photos and videos, as well as text chat.

With the players mostly being young and single, you can imagine many of the chats go in a flirtatious or even sexual direction, and of course there’s lots of scheming and backstabbing.

As I was watching the show, I wondered how I would fare in such a competition. I am a married mom of two, so I probably wouldn’t get far playing the “sexy” card.

This got me thinking: what would “The Circle” be like if it was all moms in the competition?

circlemoms.png

Now, let’s be honest, if you’re a mom, you are probably living some version of “The Circle” right now. How many of us spend way too much time in various parenting groups, trying not to punch our screens when we read stupid comments? Or is it just me?

If they ever made a mom version of “The Circle,” they’d have people lining up to be on this show. A bunch of days alone in your own apartment, and nobody allowed to bother you?

Where do I sign? Continue reading

If toddlers had Facebook groups

toddlerfacebook

I am a member of several Facebook groups for moms. They have become so common, that poking fun of them has become standard practice. For better or worse, they have a huge influence on parents, and can be quite helpful. I know lots of parents who say they could not survive without them.

What if our little ones had the same access to Facebook (and knew how to read, write and engage in snarky banter)? What would their posts look like?

I imagine they would look something like this.

Continue reading

If moms invented Brexit


So if you are not one who likes to dwell under rocks, you know about the British Exit from the European Union, which U.K. citizens passed by a margin of nearly 52 per cent. Yes, the whole thing has caused mass panic across the globe, but let’s not forget about the awesome term that was spawned by this madness: “Brexit.” I say, this word is up for grabs, and I am about to mommify the shit out of it.

So, vote yes on these 10 alternatives for “Brexit.”

Continue reading

If moms invented slang

I am a mom in my thirties, meaning I have zero authority over what is acceptable slang.  I will even admit to having Googled a few words, so I could stop wondering who this damn Felicia woman was, and why everyone was saying goodbye to her. I realize that consulting Urban Dictionary to keep up with what’s cool is decidedly not on fleek, and I obviously have no business using these words in their correct form.

I do, however have some authority on parent lingo. I can speak toddler-ese with the best of them and can tell the difference between a baby saying, “Ma! Ma!”and “Ma? Ma?” Since, moms have given so much to the world already, I think we deserve the right to decide what the latest slang means.
Continue reading