Tag Archives: humor

5 more parenting-inspired shows: Netflix edition 

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I have few loves in life, my husband, my kids, and, of course, my Netflix. Give me a night with Francis Underwood or the ladies of Litchfield any day. And, while those shows are fantastic, they don’t always reflect the everyday mundane reality of parenthood. Just like I offered some parenting-inspired tweaks to some popular network programs, I thought Netflix could use some of its own.

1. Orange Is The New Food My Kid Won’t Eat 

ORANGE

Will it be oranges or will it be mashed potatoes? Tune in to each episode of this riveting drama to find out which food your child now hates.

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5 reasons why you need clear knee mom jeans

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I’ve never been much of a trendsetter. And I’m certainly not keeping up with what’s on fleek now that I am a mom. Every once in awhile, though, something so awesome comes along to stop me right in my yoga pants.

Enter the “Clear Knee Mom Jeans” from Topshop.

Now, you may wonder why you should spend your hard-earned money on a pair of pants with holes covered by the same material your grandmother uses to protect her sofa, but, rest assured, this is $95 well spent.

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Photo Credit: Nordstrom.com

Here are five reasons you need these pants in your life.

1. Cleaning up after your kids. No longer do your knees have to suffer the sting of being jabbed by one of your tot’s Legos. These pants offer the kind of industrial protection you need for tidying up any playroom. Continue reading →

6 bad habits only parents can get away with

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Once you reach a certain age, you need to adhere to an accepted level of adulting. Sure, it would be totally fun to sit home in a robe all day drinking White Russians, but we can’t all be “The Dude.”

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Credit: YouTube/Giphy

Society expects something of us grownups, and we can’t get away with the stuff we did in college and our 20s.

There is however, one exception. Parenting. Yes, having children entitles you to a hall pass for screwing your responsibilities. While most folks would not get away with these bad habits, somehow, those of us with spawn are not judged (or at least not as much).

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If moms invented Brexit

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So if you are not one who likes to dwell under rocks, you know about the British Exit from the European Union, which U.K. citizens passed by a margin of nearly 52 per cent. Yes, the whole thing has caused mass panic across the globe, but let’s not forget about the awesome term that was spawned by this madness: “Brexit.” I say, this word is up for grabs, and I am about to mommify the shit out of it.

So, vote yes on these 10 alternatives for “Brexit.”

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5 reasons seeing other kids on your night out is the absolute worst

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Grace - New York City - Manhattan

You did it. You managed to piece together some semblance of an outfit that doesn’t include a t-shirt stained with child excrement and the pajama pants you have been wearing for the past two days. You even smeared on some make up before your toddler decided to use your eyeliner for his latest art project. You stealthily escaped from your home and are now ready to enjoy a child-free evening.

Then by some cruel twist of the universe, you soon discover your night out will not in fact be “adults only.” You spent so much time trying to get away from kids only to discover you and your partner will be enjoying your 10 p.m. dinner next to a family with four-year-old triplets.
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Empire Record quotes that apply directly to parenting

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rexy
I absolutely adore “Empire Records,” and I wouldn’t be a true fan of the movie about misfit teens learning life lessons while fighting a corporate conglomerate without acknowledging Rex Manning Day (April 8).

In honor of this special day, I present to you 10 Empire Records quotes that remind me of parenting.
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If moms invented slang

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I am a mom in my thirties, meaning I have zero authority over what is acceptable slang.  I will even admit to having Googled a few words, so I could stop wondering who this damn Felicia woman was, and why everyone was saying goodbye to her. I realize that consulting Urban Dictionary to keep up with what’s cool is decidedly not on fleek, and I obviously have no business using these words in their correct form.

I do, however have some authority on parent lingo. I can speak toddler-ese with the best of them and can tell the difference between a baby saying, “Ma! Ma!”and “Ma? Ma?” Since, moms have given so much to the world already, I think we deserve the right to decide what the latest slang means.
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5 parenting shows that need to be made immediately

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Fall is fast approaching, and with it comes the onslaught of television premieres. Networks will test out dozens of new shows in the hopes that one will become a hit. We can expect the usual crop of small-screen staples: the medical drama, the family comedy, the reality show, the cooking competition, and so on.

Yawn.

I’ve heard moms are the biggest target for marketers, so how about some shows that appeal to our demographic?

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Orange is the New Black: playground edition

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playground

They’re strong, opinionated, and ready to defend their territory. Just like most of the moms I know, the ladies of Orange is the New Black are a strong and colorful bunch. Change Litchfield into a playground and you have the makings of one interesting show.

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