Tag Archives: humor

Put down the screaming toddler, and pick up this book

Moby Dick, Crime and PunishmentThe Catcher in the Rye, these are just a few of the many books that speak so boldly to the human experience. The anguish, the despair — the general disdain and confusion for humanity — are all laid out for the reader’s consumption.

Yet, no piece of literature has so perfectly captured the essence of toddlerhood …

until now.

Silence Is A Scary Sound, the latest release from Clint Edwards, the hilarious person behind the beloved blog, No Idea What I’m Doing, is an honest, humorous and heartfelt depiction of the pure wonder and insanity that is raising two and three-year-olds. Continue reading

The five stages of embracing the awesomeness that is leggings

My early days of motherhood were a blur of sleepless nights and unanswered days. I often wore the same raggedy clothes around my home with no concept of when they were last washed. With a baby who spit, pooped and peed all over me, my fashion was not top of mind.

Despite how little I cared about my wardrobe in the comfort of home, when I did manage to venture outdoors, I always put on “real” pants. And by pants, I do not mean leggings. It did not matter how exhausted I felt or how gross I looked, I made a statement which said, I will try and look like a put together human. It could be a plain t-shirt and jeans, but it was something. It was clothes.

Leggings were not something you wore out in public.

I resisted leggings for many years because I felt they were the one clothing item left to take me over the edge to utter hot mess. Sure, I wasn’t the picture of style before, but at least I took a little pride in myself.

I never thought I would be the mom who wears leggings 90% of her week.

I have changed.

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Six years into raising humans, I have come to embrace the stretchy goodness of leggings and have accepted them as a staple of my wardrobe. I realize nobody cares what I wear while shopping for milk and eggs, and I might as well be comfortable.

You may still swear off leggings, standing firm in your belief that leggings are not pants. I respect your conviction, but speaking from experience, you will have to face the inevitability that leggings will take over your life.

The path toward leggings acceptance is fraught with questions about your identity, emotional turmoil and wonder about life’s purpose. You will go through these stages until you emerge happy and ready to love leggings.

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Richard Scarry’s “Mother Cat’s Busy Day” is my life

Have you ever read a book, and thought this is my life?

I do, all the time. And those moments of finding yourself in a story are often found in the most surprising places, like a Richard Scarry book.

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Mother Cat’s Busy Day sat on a bookshelf in my childhood bedroom.  Since the book was published after I was already too old to read it, I believe this was a recent requirement of my parents who wanted some children’s books in the house for when their grandchildren were visiting.

As my family was visiting my parents over the Passover holiday, the selection of kids book came in handy. I picked up the copy of Mother Cat’s Busy Day, thinking this would be a cute book to read to my kids.

What I did not expect was how hilariously relatable this book would be.  Continue reading

Maybe I’ll Shower Today’s best memes (so far)

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I love sharing my thoughts here on the blog. Writing is my passion, and I am so glad to have you as a reader. As you may also know, I run a Facebook page, where I share tons of memes. They are inspired by my children, who give me great material to work with, as well as my daily life as a mom.

I have gathered some of my favorites, and if you are not following me already, I hope these will do the trick. Continue reading

Forgive me, world, for I have birthed a germ machine

Dear Friends, Family and Fellow Cold Sufferers,

I write this letter humbly and sincerely seeking your mercy for I have put forth into this world a host for all things germy, slimey, gooey and gross. This creature, known to many as simply “toddler,” oozes wherever he goes, bringing a warning of ick with every nose drip.

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“Keep him home,” the people warn. Spare us from his bacteria-covered hands and viral embraces. And keep him there, I often do, but this creature is a sneaky one, often showing no signs of yuck until you are smacked by the Flu.

So to my loved ones who are home sneezing; to my friends with sore throats; to those commuters who had the poor luck to sit near myself and germ magnet; to all of you, I say:

I am sorry

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If toddlers had Facebook groups

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I am a member of several Facebook groups for moms. They have become so common, that poking fun of them has become standard practice. For better or worse, they have a huge influence on parents, and can be quite helpful. I know lots of parents who say they could not survive without them.

What if our little ones had the same access to Facebook (and knew how to read, write and engage in snarky banter)? What would their posts look like?

I imagine they would look something like this.

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Parents of five-month-olds got it made

One parenting joy is the ability to bitch about the difficulty of raising a (insert age of child here). New parents struggle to stay sane while caring for a helpless, poop-machine. Toddler parents contend with tantrums, crayon murals and picky eating. School-age kids bring constant questions and whining. And, the adolescent years? Yeah, not even gonna touch that.

Seems almost every stage of parenthood has its challenges. So, is there an age when things are not so bad, or even great?

Parents of Five-Month-Olds Got it Made

After nearly five years of completely unscientific research, I have concluded the period between four and six months is the most pleasant age for children.

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5 more parenting-inspired shows: Netflix edition 

I have few loves in life, my husband, my kids, and, of course, my Netflix. Give me a night with Francis Underwood or the ladies of Litchfield any day. And, while those shows are fantastic, they don’t always reflect the everyday mundane reality of parenthood. Just like I offered some parenting-inspired tweaks to some popular network programs, I thought Netflix could use some of its own.

1. Orange Is The New Food My Kid Won’t Eat 

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Will it be oranges or will it be mashed potatoes? Tune in to each episode of this riveting drama to find out which food your child now hates.

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5 reasons why you need clear knee mom jeans

I’ve never been much of a trendsetter. And I’m certainly not keeping up with what’s on fleek now that I am a mom. Every once in awhile, though, something so awesome comes along to stop me right in my yoga pants.

Enter the “Clear Knee Mom Jeans” from Topshop.

Now, you may wonder why you should spend your hard-earned money on a pair of pants with holes covered by the same material your grandmother uses to protect her sofa, but, rest assured, this is $95 well spent.

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Photo Credit: Nordstrom.com

Here are five reasons you need these pants in your life.

1. Cleaning up after your kids. No longer do your knees have to suffer the sting of being jabbed by one of your tot’s Legos. These pants offer the kind of industrial protection you need for tidying up any playroom. Continue reading

6 bad habits only parents can get away with

Once you reach a certain age, you need to adhere to an accepted level of adulting. Sure, it would be totally fun to sit home in a robe all day drinking White Russians, but we can’t all be “The Dude.”

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Credit: YouTube/Giphy

Society expects something of us grownups, and we can’t get away with the stuff we did in college and our 20s.

There is however, one exception. Parenting. Yes, having children entitles you to a hall pass for screwing your responsibilities. While most folks would not get away with these bad habits, somehow, those of us with spawn are not judged (or at least not as much).

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