I have thought about writing a parenting book for a long time, and toyed with various ideas for expressing my views.
The format I kept coming back to was poetry.
I have always enjoyed creating rhymes, and often find myself composing verse in my head. I felt compiling a bunch of short poems on the various aspects of motherhood would resonate best with my audience.
When you become a parent, you enter a world that is nothing but loving, supportive and judgement free. Just kidding.
While, I certainly hope you have at least a small group that fits the aforementioned description, chances are as you will encounter several sanctimonious people who believe they know best, and will be sure to tell you that any chance they get.
Parents are getting judged all the time by people around them. From the moment you have your first baby, to even seasoned moms, everyone is giving parenting advice and telling you how to be a parent. Here are five types of judgmental people you’ll meet as a parent. Continue reading
Before children, I had no idea how lucky I was to be able to use the bathroom in peace and privacy. Ah, to just use the toilet with nobody pounding on the door or screaming for you the whole time. Those were the days.
Once I had kids, I soon learned peeing with the door closed is a luxury reserved for those without kids. Any attempt to shut the door and do my business was thwarted by the blood-curdling screams of tiny humans who couldn’t handle me “disappearing” for five minutes.
Small children have no concept of time, so whether their parents go on a trip for a week, or to work for several hours, their reaction is pretty much the same every time: flip the eff out. For some reason, however, when their parents decide to spend a few minutes in the bathroom, these little ones really lose their shit.
I mean it is just bonkers the reaction tiny tots have to the simple act of a grownup trying to use the facilities.They scream and panic as if they are being tortured, and because no parent wants to be accused of torture, we often settle for peeing with the door open.
But, when parents do decide to bravely shut the bathroom door for some much needed solace, where do the concerned babies and toddlers think we disappear too?
I have some theories:
Continue reading
Moby Dick, Crime and Punishment, The Catcher in the Rye, these are just a few of the many books that speak so boldly to the human experience. The anguish, the despair — the general disdain and confusion for humanity — are all laid out for the reader’s consumption.
Yet, no piece of literature has so perfectly captured the essence of toddlerhood …
until now.
Silence Is A Scary Sound, the latest release from Clint Edwards, the hilarious person behind the beloved blog, No Idea What I’m Doing, is an honest, humorous and heartfelt depiction of the pure wonder and insanity that is raising two and three-year-olds. Continue reading
My early days of motherhood were a blur of sleepless nights and unanswered days. I often wore the same raggedy clothes around my home with no concept of when they were last washed. With a baby who spit, pooped and peed all over me, my fashion was not top of mind.
Despite how little I cared about my wardrobe in the comfort of home, when I did manage to venture outdoors, I always put on “real” pants. And by pants, I do not mean leggings. It did not matter how exhausted I felt or how gross I looked, I made a statement which said, I will try and look like a put together human. It could be a plain t-shirt and jeans, but it was something. It was clothes.
Leggings were not something you wore out in public.
I resisted leggings for many years because I felt they were the one clothing item left to take me over the edge to utter hot mess. Sure, I wasn’t the picture of style before, but at least I took a little pride in myself.
I never thought I would be the mom who wears leggings 90% of her week.
I have changed.
Six years into raising humans, I have come to embrace the stretchy goodness of leggings and have accepted them as a staple of my wardrobe. I realize nobody cares what I wear while shopping for milk and eggs, and I might as well be comfortable.
You may still swear off leggings, standing firm in your belief that leggings are not pants. I respect your conviction, but speaking from experience, you will have to face the inevitability that leggings will take over your life.
The path toward leggings acceptance is fraught with questions about your identity, emotional turmoil and wonder about life’s purpose. You will go through these stages until you emerge happy and ready to love leggings.
Have you ever read a book, and thought this is my life?
I do, all the time. And those moments of finding yourself in a story are often found in the most surprising places, like a Richard Scarry book.
Mother Cat’s Busy Day sat on a bookshelf in my childhood bedroom. Since the book was published after I was already too old to read it, I believe this was a recent requirement of my parents who wanted some children’s books in the house for when their grandchildren were visiting.
As my family was visiting my parents over the Passover holiday, the selection of kids book came in handy. I picked up the copy of Mother Cat’s Busy Day, thinking this would be a cute book to read to my kids.
What I did not expect was how hilariously relatable this book would be. Continue reading
I love sharing my thoughts here on the blog. Writing is my passion, and I am so glad to have you as a reader. As you may also know, I run a Facebook page, where I share tons of memes. They are inspired by my children, who give me great material to work with, as well as my daily life as a mom.
I have gathered some of my favorites, and if you are not following me already, I hope these will do the trick. Continue reading
Dear Friends, Family and Fellow Cold Sufferers,
I write this letter humbly and sincerely seeking your mercy for I have put forth into this world a host for all things germy, slimey, gooey and gross. This creature, known to many as simply “toddler,” oozes wherever he goes, bringing a warning of ick with every nose drip.
“Keep him home,” the people warn. Spare us from his bacteria-covered hands and viral embraces. And keep him there, I often do, but this creature is a sneaky one, often showing no signs of yuck until you are smacked by the Flu.
So to my loved ones who are home sneezing; to my friends with sore throats; to those commuters who had the poor luck to sit near myself and germ magnet; to all of you, I say:
I am sorry
I am a member of several Facebook groups for moms. They have become so common, that poking fun of them has become standard practice. For better or worse, they have a huge influence on parents, and can be quite helpful. I know lots of parents who say they could not survive without them.
What if our little ones had the same access to Facebook (and knew how to read, write and engage in snarky banter)? What would their posts look like?
I imagine they would look something like this.
One parenting joy is the ability to bitch about the difficulty of raising a (insert age of child here). New parents struggle to stay sane while caring for a helpless, poop-machine. Toddler parents contend with tantrums, crayon murals and picky eating. School-age kids bring constant questions and whining. And, the adolescent years? Yeah, not even gonna touch that.
Seems almost every stage of parenthood has its challenges. So, is there an age when things are not so bad, or even great?
After nearly five years of completely unscientific research, I have concluded the period between four and six months is the most pleasant age for children.