Tag Archives: gratitude

For those days when you don’t feel thankful

With Thanksgiving this week, we tend to focus on gratitude, taking the time to appreciate our good fortune and express our thanks to family, friends, colleagues and, sometimes, a higher power.

This is the time of year for commercials that make us cry and Hallmark movies that make us swoon. We will read inspirational quotes plastered on our Facebook feeds, and share heartfelt videos reminding us of our many blessings. These lovely reminders will resonate with many of us. They will be enough to put a smile on our faces and joy in our hearts.

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For some of you, they may not.

Some of you may not be feeling all that “grateful.”

You may have lost a job.

Your relationship may have ended.

Your child may be suffering at school.

Your spouse might be ill.

Your pet may have died.

You may just be having a bad year.

Maybe there is no reason.

Whatever the reason — or lack thereof — it is OK to not feel thankful. When you sit around the dinner table Thursday, and people share what they are grateful for, it is OK to not answer, or to just excuse yourself during that part. You aren’t a bad person if you can’t find something. You are a human who is entitled to feel angry, sad, lonely or confused.

You don’t owe anyone a smile or pleasantries. You don’t need to “fake it.” You can just be.

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Looking back and gazing forward

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I had a few ideas for how I would close out this year. I thought about piecing together, what I think, would have been a strong post, pushing my page views up a bit more to round out my year with some solid numbers. Or maybe, one more silly piece, since my writing has been a bit more serious/sentimental lately, and I want to mix things up. Perhaps, I would finally complete one of the gajillion drafts I have sitting around, waiting to be published.

None of that felt right. As this time of year has me thinking about all that has happened, I realize how grateful I am. I hesitate to put a definitive word on the year, as it is still not over, but I can at least say that, up until this point, 2017 was an amazing year for “Maybe I’ll Shower Today.” Continue reading

Changing our morning changed everything 

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Difficult, stubborn, strong-willed, a free spirit. All of these words describe my oldest son. He is only four, yet he often pushes me over the line between parent and child. I am not ashamed to admit I have lost my cool on occasion. I have found myself sucked into battle after battle. I resented him for not being a more easy-going child. On many days, I was just hoping to make it to bed time before becoming emotionally exhausted and physically aching.

If you have a child like mine, I am sure like me, you looked for ways to change his or her behavior. You read the blogs, sought guidance from your own parents and shared your struggles with your friends. All have good intentions. Phrases like “positive reinforcement” and “be stern, but fair,” are constantly buzzing in your ear. You try everything to get your kid to change, to just be a little easier. To be like your friends’ kids. Maybe you see a change, and maybe you don’t. Maybe when things don’t work, you question everything you have ever done as a parent.

I was that parent. I asked, “Why me?” When it seemed like I spent day after day trying to reason with my son. I turned my frustration out on him, and that just made things worse. It was a horrible cycle leaving everyone tired and unhappy. I thought, if only I had more help, if only my kid was easier, if only I had more peace and quiet.

Something had to change.

That something was me.

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