Empire Record quotes that apply directly to parenting

I absolutely adore “Empire Records,” and I wouldn’t be a true fan of the movie about misfit teens learning life lessons while fighting a corporate conglomerate without acknowledging Rex Manning Day (April 8).

In honor of this special day, I present to you 10 Empire Records quotes that remind me of parenting.

1. When your child falls asleep on you:

Is it O.K. if I leave the couch? ‘Cause I’m gonna leave the couch now, okay? My ass is falling asleep, so I gotta go.

2. When your kid draws you a “cat:”

I don’t feel that I need to explain my art to you.

3. When you’re deciding on baby names:

I was thinking about, um, Marc. How does that sound?
Is that with a “C” or a “K?”

4. When you realize parenting isn’t what you expected:

Why do I get the feeling that I’m being royally screwed?

5. When your kid goes on a tangent about trains:

Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear.

6. When your kid is misbehaving:

Well “Sinead O’Rebellion.” Shock me shock me shock me with that deviant behavior.

7. When the kids refuse to go to bed:

In the immortal words of The Doors, ‘The time to hesitate is through.

8. When you have to cook for picky eaters:

They’re my special recipe… and you know what that means… Lots of sugar.

9. When you long for your pre-child days:

I do not regret the things I have done, but those I did not do.

10. But, you realize what adventures lie ahead:

In this life there are nothing but possibilities.


When you are totally nailing this whole parenting thing:

What? No applause?

Je t’adore mon amour.

4 thoughts on “Empire Record quotes that apply directly to parenting

    1. Maybe I'll Shower Today

      I think you are confusing the movie “Empire Records” with the show, “Empire.” The movie is amazing, I’ve never seen the show, but I have heard good things.


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